Psychic machines

I've noticed this before, but have never dared commit it to writing: machines can read our minds.

All of us have experienced this before. Anyone who has owned a car, or any other (relatively) expensive bit of gear, has had a gremlin that mysteriously vanishes as soon as the car arrives at the shop for repair. I submit to you that gremlins are in fact imaginary beings that Man, in his arrogance and species-centric view, has invented to explain away the simple fact: machines can read our minds.

I have had inklings of this in the past. How else to explain how the transmission on my car mysteriously decided to withhold any and all access to third gear within hours of me telling a friend that I was planning to sell it?

In my last post I mentioned that my iPod Shuffle was misbehaving and was headed for the scrap heap, in favour of a shiny new one. Within five minutes of me posting that statement, the offending instrument stopped behaving like a petulant child, and it's been running like a top ever since. That didn't stop me, I hasten to add, from going out a buying a new iPod. I'd better destroy the old one just in case it decides to go all Christine on me and start running people over, or deafening them or something equally unspeakable.

Hey! Wait a minute. After reading these past couple of paragraphs, it strikes me that perhaps these inanimate objects can't actually read minds, but in fact are listening to me, or reading my online posts. After all, if I apply Occam's razor to my current situation, it's more plausible that a machine could have physical senses than extra-sensory perception, right? Hmmm... maybe I should start writing these posts in Pig Latin; do you think machines can understand Pig Latin?
I-ay ure-say ope-hay ot-nay.